If I’m being completely honest, Twisted Fate is probably the hardest time I’ve had trying to figure one of these builds and probably the least confident I’ve been on one, but mama didn’t raise no bitch and I’m shooting my shot.

Every champion in these posts is getting built to a level 20 fantasy, but that does not mean you have to be level 20 to enjoy most if not all the important gameplay mechanics of the champion
- Twisted Fate is completely enjoyable with most of his core mechanics by level 11ish. The high spell commitment is very restricting though
Basic Champion Information
- Image
  - Twisted Fate
- Lore
  - Twisted Fate is an infamous cardsharp and swindler who has gambled and charmed his way across much of the known world, earning the enmity and admiration of the rich and foolish alike. He rarely takes things seriously, greeting each day with a mocking smile and an insouciant swagger. In every possible way, Twisted Fate always has an ace up his sleeve. (Twisted Fate Champion Page.)
  - Twisted Fate’s lore has jumped around a few times, but he’s a swindler, a cardshark, a master grifter and a gambling man who in my favorite version, sold out his best friend and accomplice, Graves to acquire magical power.
  - TF’s only major cinematic appearance was in the 2013 trailer, A Twist of Fate but he also features very prominently storywise in the 2015 Lore. Destiny and Fate Double Down. I honestly think the 2015 Bilgewater event was peak League content.
Goals/Gameplay Mechanics we want to emulate
- Magical Projectiles with extra effects
- Divination
- Teleportation
- Sleight of Hand
Background/Race/Stats/Class
- Charlatan
  - Proficiency: Deception, Sleight of Hand, Disguise Kit, Forgery Kit
  - Equipment: A set of fine clothes, a disguise kit, tools of the con of your choice (ten stoppered bottles filled with colored liquid, a set of weighted dice, a deck of marked cards, or a signet ring of an imaginary duke), and a belt pouch containing 15 gp
  - Charlatan Feature: False Identity: You have created a second identity that includes documentation, established acquaintances, and disguises that allow you to assume that persona. Additionally, you can forge documents including official papers and personal letters, as long as you have seen an example of the kind of document or the handwriting you are trying to copy.
- Variant Human
  - +1Dex +1 Cha
  - Metamagic Adept: 2 sorc points, Subtle Spell, Twinned Spell
  - 5’11 Medium Sized 30 ft movement
  - Languages: Common and one of your choice
- Stats 15/14/13/12/10/8
  - 8 Str (You fight with your head not your hands)
  - 15 Dex (You know every card in your stacked deck like the back of your hand)
  - 13 Con (You’ve probably been roughed up on occasion for cleaning many a tavern out of coin.)
  - 12 Int (Can’t con people without brains)
  - 10 Wis (You’re a gamblin man)
  - 16 Cha (Lady Luck smiles at you for a reason)
- 18 Whisper Bard/2 Archfey Warlock reasoning
  - The best I could come up with was Eldritch Blast to flavor as a consistent magic card attack and due to the simplicity of TF’s basic spells, we can take the Eldritch Invocations: Lance of Lethargy to simulate red card, and Agonizing blast to make sure that our shifty shenanigans dont kneecap our damage. Also at level 11, Our eldritch blast can be cast 3 times to replicate Wild Card. Besides that, Warlock doesn’t have access to Teleport (the semiglobal jump part of our ult), Sorcerer doesn’t have Scrying (the vision part of our ult). Since we need a level 7 and level 5 spell from different classes but also need to play up stats important to the character, Bard with a slight Warlock dip seemed like a decent compromise. Bard has access to both spells, a good chunk of whatever they want and Power Word Stun… let me tell you getting Gold Card specifically is the most difficult part of his kit because of how high the bar to entry on Stunning is for non-monks (mostly 8th level spells). I swear if it wasnt for 5th and 7th spell level requirements though, TF would’ve been an Arcane Trickster 100%.
  - With that out of the way… Whisper Bards further fit the Charlatan aesthetic. Another big problem for sorc and warlock was that almost no subclass in either fit TF’s usual MO. Whisper Bards however use the positive connotation of bards to slip in, get important info and use it against people. It’s a way to get an upper hand, and “Cheater is just a fancy word for winner.”
- Warlock (all that being said, we’re gonna take those 2 warlock levels out the gate to get eldritch blast and avoid a downright horrendous early game.)
  - 9 Starting hp (8+con mod)
  - hp/level 1d8+con mod
  - Hit Die 1d8/level
  - Proficiency: Light Armor, Simple weapons, Arcana, Investigation
  - Equipment: Simple Weapon, Spellcasting Focus (Flavor as your deck), Scholar’s Pack
Lv 1 Warlock
- Spellcasting
  - Spell save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier
  - Spell attack modifier = your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier
- Cantrips
  - Eldritch Blast
  - Chill Touch
- Spells
  - (Lv 1) Charm Person
  - (Lv 1) Sense Emotion (Read that poker face)
- Otherworldly Patron: Archfey
- Archfey Spell:
  - (Lv 1) Faerie Fire
  - (Lv 1) Sleep
- Fey Presence
  - Starting at 1st level, your patron bestows upon you the ability to project the beguiling and fearsome presence of the fey. As an action, you can cause each creature in a 10-foot cube originating from you to make a Wisdom saving throw against your warlock spell save DC. The creatures that fail their saving throws are all charmed or frightened by you (your choice) until the end of your next turn.
  - Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.
Lv 2 Warlock
- Eldritch Invocations
  - Lance of Lethargy
  - Agonizing Blast
Lv 1 Bard
- Cantrips
  - Friends (you only need to keep your charades going until you leave with the money.)
  - Mage Hand (ngl I kinda took the subtle spell metamagic to see if I could pull some subtle mage hand shenanigans for pickpocketing or general cheating.)
- Spell
  - (Lv 1) Heroism (Massage the ego of a teammate with some temp HP so they’ll tank for you.)
  - (Lv 1) Distort Value (Distort the value of whatever bargaining chip you have to get others to bet for more than it’s worth)
- Bardic Inspiration (1d6) (Kiss one of your cards for good luck or play a song on the harmonica or something)
Lv 2 Bard
- Jack of All trades
- Song of Rest (1d6)
- Spell:
  - (Lv 1) Healing Word (You always know what to say)
Lv 3 Bard
- Eldritch Blast gets 2 shots
- College of Whispers
- Psychic Blades
  - When you join the College of Whispers at 3rd level, you gain the ability to make your weapon attacks magically toxic to a creature's mind.
  - When you hit a creature with a weapon attack, you can expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to deal an additional 2d6 psychic damage to that target. You can do so only once per round on your turn.
  - The psychic damage increases when you reach certain levels in this class, increasing to 3d6 at 5th level, 5d6 at 10th level, and 8d6 at 15th level.
- Words of Terror (Spook your opponents with a bluff they can’t ignore)
  - At 3rd level, you learn to infuse innocent-seeming words with an insidious magic that can inspire terror.
  - If you speak to a humanoid alone for at least 1 minute, you can attempt to seed paranoia and fear into its mind. At the end of the conversation, the target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or be frightened of you or another creature of your choice. The target is frightened in this way for 1 hour, until it is attacked or damaged, or until it witnesses its allies being attacked or damaged.
  - If the target succeeds on its saving throw, the target has no hint that you tried to frighten it.
  - Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short rest or long rest.
- Spell
  - (Lv 2) Detect Thoughts
- Expertise: Sleight of Hand, Investigation
Lv 4 Bard
- ASI +2 Cha (18 total)
- Cantrip
  - Prestidigitation (Smoke and Mirrors)
- Spell
  - (Lv 2) Hold Person (About as close as we’re getting to gold card for a hot minute)
Lv 5 Bard
- Bardic Inspiration (D8)
- Font of Inspiration
- Spell
  - (Lv 3) Clairvoyance (our first vision spell)
Lv 6 Bard
- Countercharm
- College of Whispers Feature
  - Mantle of Whispers
- Spell
  - (Lv 3) Slow (Red Card as intended, but no damage)
Lv 7 Bard
- Spell
  - Dimension Door (baby’s first Destiny/TF Ult lv 1)
Lv 8 Bard
- ASI
  - +1 dex (16 total) + 1 con (14 total)
- Spell
  - (Lv 4) Freedom of Movement (It’s just too good)
Lv 9 Bard
- Song of Rest (1d8)
- Spell
  - Scrying (Destiny part 1)
Lv 10 Bard
- Bardic Inspiration (1d10)
- Expertise: Arcana, Deception
- Cantrip
  - Vicious Mockery
- Magical Secrets
  - (Lv 2) Misty Step
  - (Lv 5) Teleportation Circle
Lv 11 Bard
- Eldritch Blast gets 3 shots
- Spell
  - (Lv 6) True Seeing
Lv 12 Bard
- ASI +2 cha (20 total/capped)
Lv 13 Bard
- Song of Rest (1d10)
- Spell
  - (Lv 7) Teleport (Destiny part 2)
Lv 14 Bard
- Whisper Bard Feature Shadow Lore
  - At 14th level, you gain the ability to weave dark magic into your words and tap into a creature’s deepest fears.
  - As an action, you magically whisper a phrase that only one creature of your choice within 30 feet of you can hear. The target must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. It automatically succeeds if it doesn’t share a language with you or if it can’t hear you. On a successful saving throw, your whisper sounds like unintelligible mumbling and has no effect.
  - If the target fails its saving throw, it is charmed by you for the next 8 hours or until you or your allies attack or damage it. It interprets the whispers as a description of its most mortifying secret.
  - While you gain no knowledge of this secret, the target is convinced you know it. While charmed in this way, the creature obeys your commands for fear that you will reveal its secret. It won’t risk its life for you or fight for you, unless it was already inclined to do so. It grants you favors and gifts it would offer to a close friend.
  - When the effect ends, the creature has no understanding of why it held you in such fear.
  - Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.
- Magical Secrets
  - (Lv 7) Plane Shift
  - (Lv 3) Fireball (Your choice honestly. I just picked Fireball for some accessible AoE)
Lv 15 Bard
- Bardic inspiration (D12)
- Spell
  - (Lv 8) Power Word Stun (FINALLY! THE TRUE GOLD CARD)
Lv 16 Bard
- ASI +2 Dex
Lv 17 Bard
- Eldritch Blast gets 4 shots
- Song of Rest (d12)
- Spell
  - (Lv 9) Foresight (When you see all the cards, Destiny is truly in your hands.)
Lv 18 Bard
- Magical Secrets
  - (Lv 9) Gate (Kind of an easter egg since TF’s ult used to be on his E and called gate. It however is very precise teleportation/plane shifting that can take you to a specific person. So you can pretty much go anywhere)
  - (Lv 9) Wish (When luck is on your side, it’s really more of a command)
Pros
- Tons of vision to play around
- Finding your way and tracking your targets shouldn’t be hard
- If you can’t beat your enemies, cheat them.
- Nice for roleplay
Cons
- Wonky Start
- Probably bad in combat
- I had a tough enough time thinking about this that I don’t think I very cleanly got him.
- Needing such high level spells to emulate Destiny while trying to maintain his talents and personality felt really restraining. Definitely the most difficult feeling build I’ve had so far.
As always, I look forward to your takes in the comments! Hopefully someone hits the mark on this one a little better.

‘We just annihilated them’: Revisiting the 2000 Giants’ NFC title game rout - The Athletic

Ernie Accorsi is a wreck during games. The long-time football executive, best known for his tenure as general manager of the New York Giants from 1998 to 2007, can barely stand to watch the action on Sundays. “You’re helpless up there,” he says of watching games from the press box. “You’re totally helpless.”
Typically, during his most nervous moments, Accorsi would head down to the ground level of a stadium and walk the corridors, periodically peering in through the tunnels to check what was happening on the field — determining the rest by crowd noise.
Twenty years ago, Accorsi had the most relaxing fourth quarter of his life as an executive. During the NFC Championship Game at Giants Stadium, he ditched the sterile press box, headed down to field level and, instead of pacing, stood proudly in the tunnel taking in the scene. The Giants, underdogs that day, were leading the visiting Vikings, 41-0.
“Standing there in the tunnel, just feeling the electricity in the crowd because they knew it, they were chanting ‘Super Bowl,’” Accorsi remembers, “that was one of the great feelings I’ve ever had in my life.”
Entering the 2000 season, the Giants were nobody’s idea of an NFC contender. They had missed the playoffs the previous two seasons and five of the previous six. They hadn’t won a playoff game since Phil Simms and Lawrence Taylor wore blue, and head coach Jim Fassel was coaching for his job in his fourth season.
That tension reached its zenith the week of Thanksgiving. A promising start had crashed in back-to-back home blowout losses, first to the frontrunning Rams and then to the mediocre Lions. The morning before Thanksgiving, New York was 7-4, in third in the NFC East, and thanks to tiebreakers on the outside of the NFC playoff picture.
John Fox, defensive coordinator: The team was pretty low after that game with Detroit … I can remember at the team prayer after that game thinking, “God, we’re not very good.”
Fassel: Every team has ups and downs. It’s the way you handle it as a coach. You’ve got to have a, I don’t know, a belief to each other about what we’re going to do. I believed in those guys. I believed that we had that. I told the coaches that we’re going to remain positive.
In his Wednesday gathering with the media, Fassel expressed that belief memorably.
“If you’ve got the laser, put it right on my chest, I’ll take full responsibility. I’m raising the stakes right now,” he said. “If this is a poker game, I’m shoving my chips to the middle of the table. I’m raising the ante. Anybody who wants in can get in, anybody who wants out can get out: This team is going to the playoffs.”
The New York Times called it “a passionate, unsolicited and wholly uncharacteristic speech” from “the Mister Rogers of football.”
Bob Papa, radio broadcaster: Everybody viewed it as a little shocking, which gave it more credence. That’s something that (Bill) Parcells would do, or a coach with a different disposition would do. It was out of character for Fassel, and that helped it carry more weight and resonate with everybody inside the building.
Fassel: It’s our job (as coaches) to make the adjustments. That’s our job. So I put it on the coaches, and the players knew that I put it on the coaches. And I included myself, you know?
Accorsi: He put himself on the line. In a situation like we were in, I never worried about if somebody stirs something up. If everything’s going smoothly and we’re 9-1, don’t disturb the waters. But in that kind of situation, throw caution to the wind. I’m not saying that was the reason, but it turned out that it helped us because it got us stimulated. It caught everybody’s interest.
Fox: Our team did respond. It was like, “OK, our leader has said he’s all-in, so we better be all-in.”
Keith Hamilton, defensive tackle: He didn’t mess around. Him coming out saying that meant a lot to the team, it uplifted everybody. I remember practice was upbeat, and we took care of business.
Papa: I thought it was a stroke of genius by Fassel to do it as they were getting ready to play the Cardinals, who weren’t a very good team. It was the perfect game to give the team confidence. He pressed the exact right button at the right time.
The Giants beat backup quarterback Dave Brown in Arizona, 31-7, that weekend, then upset Washington on the road 9-7 the following week when Eddie Murray missed a late field goal.
Accorsi: If Murray makes that kick, I don’t think we make the playoffs.
The Giants stretched their winning streak to five to close out the season with victories over the Steelers, Cowboys and Jaguars. Thanks to second-half swoons by St. Louis and Minnesota, the Week 17 win over Jacksonville clinched home-field advantage for New York. The Giants dispatched the division-rival Eagles for a third time that season in the Divisional Playoff, setting up an NFC Championship Game against the Vikings. Although the road team, Minnesota was favored by two points.
“(The Giants) surprised me, I think they’ve surprised everybody,” John Madden said pregame on the Fox broadcast. “The keyword is they’ve done it as a team … Today they’ve got to do more than that.”
Jessie Armstead, linebacker: Going into that game, they were saying nobody could stop that offense.
The Vikings had a 1,500-yard rusher in Robert Smith, two 1,000-yard receivers in Randy Moss and Cris Carter and a Pro Bowl quarterback in Daunte Culpepper.
Fassel: I thought we could beat them. I thought it was going to be a close game.
Accorsi: If you look at that offensive lineup, I kidded John Fox: “The Vikings score 400 touchdowns between midnight and 8 in the morning when I try to sleep.” Fox turned to me and said, “We might shut them out.”
Fox: We matched up pretty good. Our defensive front was very good, so I thought we could handle the run game pretty well. They had two big wideouts, we had two big corners.
They had a little bit of a tendency where when they were in shotgun it would be a pass and when the quarterback was under it was run. So we had a couple of automatics in the game based on that backfield set that would permit us to play an extra guy in the box. That was pretty advantageous to us as well.
Fassel: I really thought in my head, these guys think they’re coming in here to kick our ass, and that ain’t gonna happen. I did stuff to jab our team. I wanted to make sure my team understood this is the highest scoring team in the league and everybody’s betting on them. To use that kind of thing. They’re betting on them, they’re gonna kick our ass. And had fun with it.
Hamilton: We knew they couldn’t beat us. The coaching staff knew they could not beat us. We were confident.
That confidence existed on the other side of the ball, as well. While the media posited that a characteristically cold and windy day at Giants Stadium would behoove the home team, offensive coordinator Sean Payton was praying for better weather. When he saw a mild forecast, he confidently told his offense it could hang a hundred on Minnesota’s defense. He dubbed it “Air Force week,” building a game plan around quarterback Kerry Collins’ arm rather than the team’s traditional running game.
📷Amani Toomer finished the game with six catches for 88 yards and a touchdown. (Stan Honda / AFP via Getty Images)
Papa: He thought the Giants could pass all over the Vikings. We started to get a sense they were licking their chops. Talking to the players, they couldn’t wait.
Fassel: I could see it; I knew we were good the way we warmed up, the way we talked. And it was good we could play at our place.
Giants Stadium was packed with fans waving white towels well before the 12:30 p.m. kickoff, riled up by honorary captains Lawrence Taylor, Harry Carson and Ottis Anderson — who spent the rest of the day on the sidelines with the team.
Accorsi: It was electric in there. It really was.
Fox: A lot of people don’t realize that’s way more electric than the Super Bowl. It doesn’t have the meaning of the Super Bowl, but as far as the stadium atmosphere with real fans, it’s pretty wild.
Armstead: You had all the legends. You realize you weren’t just playing for yourself. When you go to the sidelines, those guys were out on the field and you had to perform.
Hamilton: Looking at Lawrence Taylor and looking at Harry Carson, you can’t even make that up. They’re on the sidelines; that’s a dream come true. That’s everything. I don’t know how to put that into words.
It was the offense that set the tone, though. Winning the toss and electing to receive, the Giants marched 74 yards on four plays, culminating in Collins’ 46-yard vertical seam touchdown strike to Ike Hilliard. The Vikings fumbled the ensuing kickoff, New York defensive back Lyle West recovered, and Collins hit fullback Greg Comella on a wheel route for another touchdown on the next play. In 143 seconds, the Giants were up 14-0.
Hamilton: That gave us a jolt. We weren’t used to the offense doing too much.
Armstead: Our thing was, if our offense scores 17 points, we’ll win the football game.
Papa: Everything they talked about during the week was starting to unfold. But you were still incredulous because you kept waiting for the Vikings to get their mojo going, and it never happened.
Fox: It was 14-0 and I’m not sure anybody had broken a sweat yet.
“I don’t think in their wildest dreams could they have dreamt this,” said Madden on the broadcast.
The onslaught did not stop there. The Giants hounded Culpepper into quick throws and frustrated Moss and Carter with physical coverage. And the “Air Force” approach continued on offense, as Collins meticulously picked apart the Minnesota defense in a first half for the ages.
He hit Joe Jurevicius in the back of the end zone to make it 24-0 early in the second quarter. “This is unbelievable!” said Madden. Pat Summerall added, “I thought the Giants had a chance, but wow!”
📷Joe Jurevicius had just two catches for 15 yards but one went for a touchdown. (Ezra O. Shaw / Allsport)
With the seconds ticking down in the first half, Collins found Hilliard for a second time in the end zone for a 34-0 lead.
Collins finished the half 23-of-34 for 338 yards and four touchdowns — already a franchise record for passing yards in a playoff game (and 101 more yards, incidentally, than Collins combined for in New York’s two other playoff games that season). On Fox, Terry Bradshaw called it “the most impressive half of football by a quarterback and an offense I’ve ever seen.”
It was a validating performance for Collins — and for the team that signed him at his low point. He had been the fifth overall pick in the 1995 draft by Carolina, leading the Panthers to the NFC Championship Game in his second season. But by the time he was a free agent, he’d been waived by Carolina, had played poorly in a cameo with New Orleans, had battled alcoholism and been accused of racism.
Fassel got emotional talking about Collins’ performance that day.
Fassel: It was fabulous. I’ll tell you this: Some of this stuff coming back to me really means a lot. Kerry was out. People cut him, we picked him up, and nobody really thought Kerry Collins was going to be a great quarterback. He was just amazing. He came in and he was a leader. He played so confidently, like “This is my game, guys, I’ve got them.” And that carried to the whole team.
The 34-point halftime lead remains the largest in the history of the NFC Championship Game.
Hamilton: That was amazing. I couldn’t have been prouder of the preparation that went into the game, the things (the offense) did, and they excelled. They just took off.
Fox: Payton had said (before the game), “How many you gonna need?” I told him 31. Well it was 34-0 and we were running in and he said, “Is that enough?” I said, “Hell no!”
Fassel: I told Fox (at halftime), “If they score 35 points, you’re fired!”
Armstead: Nobody’s going to come back on our defense at 34-0. That’s impossible. There was no way with the guys we had on that defense that we’d tolerate 14 points, nevertheless 34.
Culpepper fumbled on the first play of the second half, with Collins throwing a fifth TD pass moments later, this time to Amani Toomer. “The Viking defense looks like it’s chairs,” said Madden. Later, he added, “The Giants have broken the Minnesota Vikings’ will.”
Hamilton: There’s no question. You’ve been fighting a man all day for a couple hours, the look in their eyes is a different look. Ain’t no colorful words for it. They know when it’s time to go home.
📷The Giants sacked Culpepper four times and intercepted him three times. (Ezra Shaw / Allsport)
Collins was replaced by backup Jason Garrett with 12:53 remaining in the fourth quarter; the Giants proceeded on a 19-play drive to run out the clock. It’s tied for the seventh-largest margin of victory in an NFL playoff game in the Super Bowl era. An underdog has never won by more.
Armstead: We were mad at Coach Fassel. We were like, “Hey, let’s get 50!”
Fassel: I don’t think I’ve ever been in a game like that … We just annihilated them. It wasn’t luck, it wasn’t like at the last minute. We just kicked their butt right from the beginning.
Armstead: You know how hard it is to win a ballgame in the National Football League, to be in the playoffs against a team that was predicted to be in the Super Bowl — to beat them 41-0 was the most amazing thing about it.
Papa: I’ll say to this day, it’s the greatest win and the greatest performance by a Giants team in the history of that stadium.
Fox: Watching them construct that stage at the end of the game, I can remember looking at my three sons saying, “We’re going to the freakin’ Super Bowl!” Everybody in the league — whether you’re a coach, scout, an administrator, an owner, a player — that’s your goal: to go to the Super Bowl.
Hamilton: Just to be a part of that, in that atmosphere, the fans were happy because they came to the game to watch a winner. I was happier for them than for me.
Armstead: We were on a real high. I wish we could have played that following week against Baltimore.
The high, of course, didn’t last. Two weeks later in the Super Bowl, Collins was intercepted four times and the Giants didn’t score an offensive point against the record-setting Ravens defense. They lost Super Bowl XXXV, 34-7.
Accorsi: As a franchise that has won four Super Bowls, that’s why that team doesn’t have a great legacy.
But for one day, they were as good as the Giants had ever been.
Fassel: One thing, as a coach, when the guys go out and play so good, you do have to think to yourself: I guess I handled them pretty good this week.

Adventure: Ship (Ch. 17)

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An ocean of red surrounded him, stretching as far as the eye could see. The landscape was featureless, just a constant crimson that engulfed even the horizon. Picking up a foot he took a step forward, then he felt it, the feeling of something breaking beneath his feet. It reverberated through his leg, the ripples from the disturbed crimson surface spread outwards from him as the feeling spread inwards. He gritted his teeth, the feeling wouldn't relent, the ocean was draining away, a sense of dread filled him, he didn't want to see, he didn't want to know what he stepped on, but it just kept draining. He would see it soon, he would know, he didn't want to, he didn't want to, he didn't want to, he didn't want to, he didn't...
David woke with a start, he was breathing heavily and shaking uncontrollably in a cold sweat. He took a few deep breaths and rubbed his face to wake himself. Just a dream. He brought his breathing back down to normal and looked at the clock on the wall, It was early morning. David sighed and laid his head back down, he would doze a bit till it was a more appropriate time to wake. At least he tried to, he couldn't seem to get even a nap in. Cursing it all he just grabbed the controls for the entertainment system to find something to preoccupy himself.
He swapped through a series of shows over the next couple of hours. He watched recent news for a bit, then a couple of different nature documentaries on various planets, and then a brutal version of football where the players were all remotely piloting heavy robots they could slam around with impunity. Eventually the hospital came to life again and the Vildune doctor entered into his room.
It gave him a quizzical look before speaking. "Oh, you're awake, didn't expect you to be up this early."
David gave a smile in return. "Yeah I guess I'm just an early riser." He turned the entertainment system off so he could properly listen.
"Well since you are up, we could start your final examination so we can get you cleared to leave."
David perked up a bit. "Sounds like a plan to me." The doctor started testing his body, poking, prodding and recording his reflexes. He shined a light in his eyes and questioned it's reflective properties, to which David gave a summarized explanation. The doctor was intrigued but didn't push him for more details, instead continuing with the examination. He finished by having him stand and conducting a basic mobility test. David went through a range of motions and stretches to make sure everything was working as intended.
Content with the tests the doctor had David sit. "Looking good, everything seems to be in order. Do you feel that something's off or otherwise not operating as it should?"
David just shook his head. "No everything feels fine."
The doctor nodded. "Alright, once I submit this form you'll be cleared to leave, if you could just sign here, thank you, any questions?"
Something popped into his head that he had forgotten. "Actually yeah, where did my stuff go?"
"You mean your pants? We were keeping it stored for you after we had it cleaned."
"Was there a blue scale in one of the pockets, do you still have that?" David was getting concerned.
"Yes I believe there was, we stored it with the pants if that's what you are wondering about."
David let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks, I would like that returned to me please."
The doctor nodded. "Of course, a nurse will bring your effects as well as a new printed shirt and pair of shoes."
"Appreciate it doc, thanks again." The doctor gave him a smile then left to file the paperwork. David sat down on the bed again to wait for everything to be processed. It was maybe ten minutes before a nurse showed up to deliver his clothes. The pile was deposited on the bedside with a polite nod, then they left.
David noticed the scale on top and picked it up to examine it again, It still had its luster but the edges were scuffed and scratched now, a testament to its use in his escape. He smiled to himself, I should make this into a necklace or something. He set it aside while he stripped down and got his clothes on. After he was properly dressed he slipped the scale into one pocket and the credit chip into his other before exiting his room.
Stepping into the hall he inhaled deeply, enjoying the freedom that he had missed. A call from down the hallway got his attention as he turned to see Sky and Solomon sitting in some chairs, evidently waiting for him. He smiled and approached to pair who stood to greet him. "Morning Sky, Solomon, were you guys waiting for me?"
"Not for very long." Solomon responded. "We decided it would be appropriate to congratulate you on your release from the hospital."
David chuckled a bit. "Thanks, but it was just one night, no need to stand on ceremony."
Solomon did a 'shrug'. "Well it was that, and Sky here doesn't seem to want to let you out of his sight." Sky snapped to Solomon with a look of betrayal before looking at the ground embarrassed.
David laughed and ruffled his head feathers a bit. Sky actually flinched a little at that, and a needle of sadness pierced David's heart. "Don't worry Sky I'm not going anywhere fast. I got to contact my boss and let them know the situation, then I have to get a new ship, supplies, equipment and a general sense of what I'm going to do next." Sky just nodded and continued staring at the floor. "Well, I'm going to go send a message, so you guys can wait for me at the front if you want."
With a nod they left to wait and David went off at a brisk pace to the public terminals. Following the signs on the walls he found them fairly quickly and signed in to his account. Labeling the message as an emergency situation update, he summarized the events of what transpired to the best of his abilities.
Before he hit send, he hesitated as he thought about something. His boss technically did belong to a branch of the government so maybe they could pull some strings for him. He added a p.s. to his letter asking for a favor and sent off the message. With that done he signed out of everything and left to meet up with Sky and Solomon.
He found them waiting in the lobby and with a wave joined up with them. "Sorry to keep you waiting. So, what's the plan for today then?"
Solomon responded. "I was going to research where I may be needed as a doctor or if there was a hospital that could use my services."
"Well wherever you go they will be lucky to have you. I think I'm going to get a new ship first, if you find out where you want to go, I can give you a lift so you don't have to hire a shuttle."
Solomon raised a manipulator at him. "I don't want to impose on you more than I have already."
David scoffed. "Impose? Come on, you're not imposing. We can just take a jump gate and be anywhere with another orbital station, and even if there wasn't a jump gate it would still be no big deal. Just accept the offer already, you might hurt my feelings if you don't." David got him with that one, his manipulators slumped a bit as he was caught between a rock and a hard place, and he knew it.
"Twist my tentacles why don't you. Fine, I will graciously accept your offer."
David smiled a devious little smile at his success. "Excellent, lets meet up later tonight to talk about things. If I remember correctly, I think there is a bar on level 23 called Zarg's bar 'n grill, sounds plain but they fix up a damn good drink. Lets meet around seven, standard Terran time, tonight for a bit of celebration and planning."
"Sounds good. I take it you are going to stay with David, Sky?" Sky was still embarrassed and just nodded. "Well then, I will see you both later." With that he turned and left leaving the two of them alone.
David turned to Sky who looked at him finally. "Well we should get going and find a new ship." Sky nodded and followed slightly behind him as they walked. They found an unoccupied lift and David set in a command to take them to the market level. Sky was being quiet the whole time and David felt kind of awkward with the little guy just standing there like some kind of attendant.
David decided he should try and start a conversation. "So how are you doing?"
Sky looked up at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"I mean with everything that's happened. You doing alright?"
Sky looked back down apparently thinking about it. "I'm not sure, I guess I'm a little nervous. I've never been anywhere but the Dread Throne before, I have no idea what to expect or do."
David bobbed his head a few times. "I see, well don't worry, I think you'll like freedom more than you know." A soft chime sounded in the lift and the door opened to reveal the market, bustling with life as people went to and from different shops and stalls talking to the various vendors selling goods from their planets. The diversity of life in the crowd was always exhilarating. Many different species walking, sliding, crawling, and flying all over the place while talking to the vendors, haggling and buying what they wanted, was energizing to say the least.
David was about to step out of the lift when he felt a hand grab onto his pocket. David looked down to see Sky, wide eyed, staring at the crowd of people like a deer in headlights before blinking a few times and noticing what he did. His hand quickly shot back down to his side and he mumbled a quick "I'm sorry."
David gave him a soft smile. "It's ok, just stay close and you'll be fine." Sky nodded and they exited together. David started weaving through the crowd Sky kept close to his side as he did. David found Sky's reaction to be quite funny as he stared at everything, mouth slightly agape like a little kid. Sky's gaze lingered on a vendor who was selling some hefty looking alien fruits, and David thought he might have saw Sky gulp a little bit at the sight of them.
Why not. David weaved his way over to the vendor with Sky in tow. Stopping in front of the stall the vendor gave him a warm welcome and insisted they buy his merchandise. David, not one to disappoint, scanned over the fruits for a moment before he saw one with good size and color to it. Selecting it from the pile, the merchant presented a device to pay with and David inserted his new chip into it, then scanned his hand. A second later a green light came on and the vendor gave him a polite bow in thanks for the patronage.
David turned back to Sky and presented the fruit to him. His eyes went wide as he stared at it, mouth hanging open, and David thought he might start drooling. He reached for it but stopped part way, hesitating. He looked up and David and asked "Can I?" Icy cold needles of sadness were everywhere in his heart now.
David managed to keep smiling and replied. "Yes, go ahead." Sky grabbed hold of the fruit with both hands and looked upon it like it was the most valuable thing in the world. He opened up and sunk his beak into the fruits flesh, slicing into it with an ease born of his natural affinity towards it's consumption. A look that could only be described as ecstasy flooded across his features as he practically melted on the spot, savoring every ounce of flavor.
David just smiled at his friends, but the sadness ate at his insides. This was probably the first real fruit Sky had eaten since he was a little kid. Anger at the snake bitch rose from the grave, but with nowhere to go, it evaporated into the ether. "Can you eat and walk Sky?" Sky snapped out of his own personal rapture and took a moment to process the question before giving him a quick nod. David smiled and started walking again, making sure he kept an eye on Sky as he ate his fruit so he didn't wander off.
He found a directory at a junction and looked over it for the shipyard. Target located he headed in that direction and into an interior lift which he keyed the correct sub level to go to. Sky had managed to finish an impressive amount of the fruit by the time they stepped out.
The entire level was dedicated to the creation and selling of ships of all shapes and sizes. The reception lobby was all clean polished metal with a large desk manned by three individuals of various species. David walked up to the desk with Sky behind him taking in the sights as he munched on his food.
A polite greeting was had and they asked how they could be of service. "Yes, I'm in the market for a high end exploration ship, powerful scanners, good for long journeys, and preferably a method of self defense." No way was he gonna be caught with his pants literally down again.
The individual talking to him gave him a once over before replying. "Such a ship would be quite expensive sir."
David felt a twinge of irritation, he knew he didn't look great in his plain white shirt and worn pants, but he adopted a smug grin. Pulling over the credit scanner he inserted his chip into it. "Is this enough?"
David watched with immense satisfaction as their eyes widened in surprise and they tripped over themselves trying to apologize. "M...my apologize sir, please follow me we will get you a custom ship to your exact desires." They proceeded to lead the pair down a hallway and into a private room.
The doors money opens, David mused. He sat in a really nice leather chair, Sky just finished the last of his fruit as he sat next to him. The receptionist excused themselves to retrieve a representative that could help them. They waited in the room for a few minutes before the door opened again revealing a four armed biped, Quallexen David believed the name was, fifth seat of the alliance. The light green skin on its body was indicative of the foliage of its planet, it had skin that looked like a lizards, its slender form was incredibly flexible putting even the best of earth contortionists to shame.
It entered and raised an eyebrow at the two of them for a quick moment before adopting its practiced business face. "Hello, my names Cathol, I heard you would like to order a custom ship?"
David nodded. "Indeed, I'd like to see all your options if you wouldn't mind." Cathol walked over and handed them a data-pad prompting a holo-display to appear in the middle of the room, and then sat across from them. David examined the information on the pad, a complete list of ship types, features, and cosmetic preferences. David looked across at the dealer who was apparently not expecting much from the pair. David fought to keep the smug look under control and began to make his selections.
Selecting the newest line of Venture series ships he sifted through the options and saw an impressive list of function and comfort items. He began selecting some of the options such as, nice pilot seats, lounge, gym, fabricator, and fully stocked kitchen. This got another raised eyebrow from Cathol but David wasn't done yet. Moving on to the functional features he specified complete control of the ship from the cockpit, Biometric scanners, Reinforced doors, localized environmental controls for each room, customized suites with one set to the preferences of Aoulooron's and the others defaulted to human preferences, shields as heavy as were allowed on a civilian vessel and equally heavy armament, then finished it off with a few cosmetic changes.
Cathol was now quite surprised by all the selections, but to their credit they did a fairly good job at hiding it. He cleared his throat before speaking. "Well sir, if you are done with your selections I can give you a quote." He used a data-pad of his own and input a few things, then a number appeared that was quite large. David had the money most definitely but his mother would strangle him if he didn't at least try and haggle it down.
"Seriously? I know its custom but I could probably get this same ship at a discount at Atlas station."
Cathol's brow furrowed a bit "Sir I assure you this is an accurate estimate of the price."
Tough cookie huh. "Alright Sky come on, we'll try at the next station." Sky looked slightly confused at what was going on but got up anyway and followed him towards the door.
"Sir, please wait, I can maybe adjust the price a bit for you." He tapped on his pad again and the number was shaved down a little bit.
David walked back into the room a little bit but didn't sit down. "You have my interest, but not my business yet."
"Sir you must be reasonable, this is a tall order to fill."
"I'm not asking for much Cathol, just a price that we can both be happy with at the end of the day." Cathol stared at him for a moment but David was putting on his best poker face. With a sigh Cathol tapped once again on the pad and the number dropped a little again. David gave a smile at the new price. "There we go, that is a more acceptable number." He sat back down in the chair. "Now how soon can I expect this to be done?"
"We have a ship in this model ready, we would just need to add all your preferred features. It should be done by tomorrow afternoon."
"Sounds good to me, where do I sign?" A image appeared on his pad, standard agreement for this kind of deal. He gave a quick once over of the forms and then signed his name at the bottom. Cathol now smiled and stood to offer him a hand, which David took.
"Pleasure doing business with you sir. Your order will arrive at hanger C on the 54^th floor after midday tomorrow."
"Thank you Cathol, I will expect it then." Cathol escorted the pair to the exit and saw them off with a polite bow as the lift door closed. David released the tension in his body with a sigh. Sky was looking at him with a questioning look.
"What just happened?" He finally asked.
David chuckled a bit. "It's called haggling Sky, some places let you negotiate on the price, and sometimes you have to be aggressive about it." Sky just thought on it for a second before shaking his head apparently giving up on the concept for the moment. David chuckled again but turned his mind towards stocking his new ship and getting equipment. Time for some shopping.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
As usual let me know what you think down below and of anything that could improve my writing.

A list of every Unus Annus video name

I made a list of every Unus Annus video name. Posting this here because someone wanted to see it and a comment doesn't allow more than 1000 characters.

November 15th - Unus Annus
(note- The Very Start.)

November 15th - Cooking with Sex Toys
(note- 365 Days Left)

November 16th - Purging Our Sins with a Net Pot

November 17th - Hot Dog'd to Death

November 18th - Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank

November 19th - The Good Kind of Cupping

November 20th - The Bad Kind of Cupping

November 21st - The Worst Kind of Cupping

November 22nd - Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls

November 23rd - Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark

November 24th - Baby Hands Operation

November 25th - Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost

November 26th - 2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition

November 27th - Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surpise...)

November 28th - Play-Doh Thanksgiving

November 29th - Helium Therapy

November 30th - Drawing Memes From Memory

December 1st - 1 Man 100 Accents

December 2nd - An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die

December 3rd - Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond

December 4th - The Cubby Gummy Challenge

December 5th - We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It

December 6th - Mark and Ethan Attempt and Escape Room

December 7th - Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat

December 8th - There's Still Hope...

December 9th - Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral

December 10th - The Great Meat Mistake

December 11th - Acupuncture Is NOT Painful

December 12th - Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank

December 13th - Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There's a Looming Sense of Impending Doom
(note- Paintball gun)

December 14th - We Made Nude Pictures of Eachother

December 15th - You made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win

December 16th - We Had To Drink Each Other's Pee
(note- The first of the Pee Trilogy)

December 17th - Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement

December 18th - Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button

December 19th - Ethan's Relaxing and Totally Normal Naul Salon

December 20th - Taped and Afraid

December 21st - What Was The Most Painful Thing We've Ever Endured?

December 22nd - Donating Toys to charity w/ JackSepticEye

December 23rd - Harnessing Our Dogs' Unlimited Energy

December 24th - Santa's Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog)

December 25th - Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will

December 26th - Preserving Ourselves In Wax
(note- JackSepticEye was also here!)

December 27th - Beating Inanimate Objects to Death

December 28th - Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain... Which is worse?

December 29th - Duct Tape Crusifixion (Amy, Please Don't Watch This Video)

December 30th - You Blink You Lose

December 31th - 2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test

January 1st - We Took The Polar Plunge

Janurary 2nd - Hiding Out Sins from Amy's Holy Peepers

January 3rd - We Eat Bugs

January 4th - DIY Bungee Jump (Please don't try this)
(note- Disclamer Song Origin)

January 5th - We Have The BEST Thumbnails on Youtube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise

January 6th - Who Can Make Themselves Taller?

January 7th - The Sensory Overload Tank

January 8th - Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin

January 9th - We Took an IQ Test

January 10th - Ethan Fianlly Becomes a MAN

January 11th - Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping

January 12th - We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins

January 13th - Learning to Breathe Underwater

January 14th - Fixing Mark's Hole with Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God
(note- The hole made in the video where Mark punched a hole in the wall)

January 15th - Mark Steals Ethan's Face

January 16th - You Breathe You Die

January 17th - 2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa

January 18th - DIY Geriatric Simulator

January 19th - This Is How We'll Die...

January 20th - We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

January 21st - This is What Being Tased Feels Like

January 22nd - What Happens When A Youtube Channel Dies?

January 23rd - Bad Bad Beans

January 24th - We hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams

January 25th - We Turned Our Bodies Into Art
(note- painting each other naked)

January 26th - Mark and Ethan Lean About The Human Body

January 27th - Mark Punishes Ethan

January 28th - Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death

January 29th - DIY Cheese

January 30th - Hacking The Very Fabric of the Universe

January 31st - Looking at Long Lost Memes

February 1st - Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life

February 2nd - Turning Mark Into an E-Boy

February 3rd - Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

February 4th - Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)

February 5th - An Extremely Sour, Not-at-all Sour Meal

February 6th - Literally Eating Fire

February 7th - Unregulated Axe Throwing

February 8th - Literally Laying On Broken Glass

February 9th - Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

February 10th - Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game
(note- First of the Nutball Trilogy)

February 11th - Becoming a Master of Mime

February 12th - Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other bit It's Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha

February 13th - Are We Already Dead?

February 14th - Our Perfect (and last) Valentine's Day

February 15th - Drunk College Party Simulator

February 16th - 10 Strange Amazon Paroducts Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn't Know How To Spend Money Responsibly

February 17th - Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death

February 18th - 3 Big Boys Attempt the Kings Royal Fitness Test

February 19th - Being Attacked by a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog

February 20th - Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery

February 21st - The Ultimate Trolley Problem

February 22nd - Goat Yoga

February 23rd - Edible Slime was a Mistake

February 24th - Granting Acces Into Heaven's Sweet Gates

February 25th - Long Hair, Do We Dare?
(note- With Marks Quarintine Hair, yes, he did dare)

February 26th - We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes

February 27th - Mark and Ethan go on a "Drum Date"

February 28th - Blowing Our Souls Into Some Hot Glass

February 29th - Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On

March 1st - Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition
(note- Second of the Nutball Trilogy)

March 2nd - REAL Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned Zoo

March 3rd - We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us

March 4th - Becoming the World's Greatest DJs

March 5th - Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest?

March 6th - Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death
(note- Owl pellets)

March 7th - DIY Chiropractor

March 8th - Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight

March 9th - The Barrel - Offical Music Video

March 10th - We Got Pepper Sprayed

March 11th - We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded

March 12th - What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship?

March 13th - Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)

March 14th - Mark Needs To Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him

March 15th - 2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes

March 16th - Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna into a Portable Hell
(note- The video where Pee Sauna was first mentioned)

March 17th - Mark and Ethan Hunt The World's Most Wanted Criminals

March 18th - Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast

March 19th - 5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death

March 20th - We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator

March 21st - Recreating the Miracle of Childbirth

March 22nd - Mark and Ethan Are Now Fathers

March 23rd - We Force James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course

March 24th - Desperately Trying To Not Touch Our Faces
(note- Start of Quarintine videos)

March 25th - Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition

March 26th - Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt

March 27th - Having an Adventure In VR Chat Becuase We Can't Go Outside

March 28th - Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse

March 29th - Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse?

March 30th - Ultimate Youtuber Boxing Showdown

March 31st - The Deep End of Omegle: Risky Boogalo
(note- This video was deleted for an unknown reason)

April 1st - Where in the World is Unus Annus?
(note- Timer was at 401 days)

April 2nd - Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time

April 3rd - Mark's 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless

April 4th - Wikifeet: A Tale of 2 Tootsies

April 5th - We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games

April 6th - We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins

April 7th - We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate

April 8th - Mark and Ethan Desperately Try and Nae a Single State in the USA

April 9th - Speed Reading 1000+ WPM To Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge

April 10th - What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube

April 11th - We Found Websites That The World Forgot About

April 12th - The Scariest True Stories on the Internet

April 13th - How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend

April 14th - Mark and Ethan Find The Lost City of EL Dorado

April 15th - Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race

April 16th - The Creepiest Videos on Youtube

April 17th - Help Us Break a YouTube World Record
(note- The birth of Norbert Moses. The video was called "Subscribe to Norbert Moses")

April 18th - 2 Men 200 Accents

April 19th - The Illuminati... Do They Really Exist?

April 20th - Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis

April 21st - Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories

April 22nd - Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test

April 23rd - Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It?

April 24th - Running Internet Drama through Google Translate

April 25th - The Secret Unus Annus NO-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake

April 26th - Two Male Men Judge Female Women on Their Beauty

April 27th - Bored? Press This Button.

April 28th - Don't Go in the Ocean... Ever.

April 29th - We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of our Wildy Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mysteries

April 30th - We Looked at Unus Annus Memes

May 1st - Is Mark a Masochist?
(note- yes.)

May 2nd - What the Hell is a Pink Trombone?

May 3rd - Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020

May 4th - Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something

May 5th - An A.I. Generates Out Worst Nightmare

May 6th - Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among us?

May 7th - Like It or Not... This is What The New Human Looks Like

May 8th - Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does it Take to Kill a Man?

May 9th - Unus Annus ASMR

May 10th - We Attempted to Create THICC Water

May 11th - Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare For Our Inevitable Demise

May 12th - How Tall Can A Human Get?: An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men

May 13th - Mark Teaches Ethan Korean

May 14th - Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend

May 15th - The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here...
(note- The Halfway point)

May 16th - We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes

May 17th - How Big Can a Nuke Get?

May 18th - How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?

May 19th - Drinking Real THICC Water... How Bad Does It Taste?

May 20th - We Played Strip Poker
(note- Mark lost so badly. Ethan also cheated on the first game)

May 21st - Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End the World aAs We Know It

May 22nd - Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime

May 23rd - We Played the Newlywed Game While Consuimg That Which Will Kill the Other

May 24th - DIY Boob

May 25th - We Have the Best Bellies on Youtube

May 26th - The Unus Annus Confessional Booth

May 27th - DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080
(note- Mark will be 90 and Ethan will be 83)

May 28th - Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video
(note- Unus vs Annus. Most Likes to Win.)

May 28th - Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video
(note- Annus vs Unus. Most Likes to Win.)

May 29th - Only Watch from 2:15 to 6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THE VIDEO
(note- Annus Won)

May 30th - DIY Wine

May 31st - Tearing a Phone Book in Half with Our Huge Manly Muscles

June 1st - 2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition

June 2nd - BLACK LIVES MATTER. Resources and How You Can Help in the Description.
(note- This video was 8 Minutes and 47 seconds of silence)

June 3rd - Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs

June 4th - Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses

June 5th - Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes

June 6th - Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked on Phonics

June 7th - Ethan Roasts Mark of 15 Minutes Straight

June 8th - There's Something Horribly Wrong with This Picture...
(note- When they made their own creepy photos)

June 9th - Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions

June 10th - Mark and Ethan Become United State Citizens

June 11th - We Made Fanart for Each Other

June 12th - Our Fans Try and Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta

June 13th - Recreating Childhood Photos

June 14th - Will We Break the Boards... Or Will They Break Us?

June 15th - Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet

June 16th - Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views

June 17th - Pee Sauna
(note- The end of quarintine videos. Second of the Pee Trilogy)

June 18th - Building IKEA's Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instruction is Impossible

June 19th - Becoming One With the Horse

June 20th - The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown

June 21st - Creating Mark FISHbach
(note- Origin of Mermer

June 22nd - Leaning How to Lock Pick (FBI Please Don't Watch)

June 23rd - The Most Dangerous Shave

June 24th - Ethan Traps Mark's Soul in the Palm of his Hand

June 25th - Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot For An Elegant Beast

June 26th - 2 Men In a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies

June 27th - Building the World's First IKEA Boat

June 28th - Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim

June 29th - 10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw on Planet Earth

June 30th - 2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out with Soap

July 1st - Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof.

July 2nd - Recreating Mark's Childhood

July 3rd - We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler

July 4th - Dummy Thicc for Dummies | A Tale of 2 Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond

July 5th - Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity From Benjamin Franklin

July 6th - The Candy Bra Challenge

July 7th - Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes

July 8th - Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing

July 9th - This Is Hiding On Your Body RIGHT NOW.

July 10th - Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce?

July 11th - The Unus Annus Space Program

July 12th - The Egg Smashing Game

July 13th - Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

July 14th - Bleachus Annus

July 15th - Dunking Oreos In Literally Anything But Milk

July 16th - Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

July 17th - DIY Teeth

July 18th - How to Escape from a Hostage Situation

July 19th - Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work?

July 20th - DIY Bed of Nails : OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY THIS

July 21st - The Human Mop

July 22nd - Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds?

July 23rd - This Is The Most Dangerous Children's Toy Ever Made

July 24th - Would Chica Save Us From Drowning?

July 25th - We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could

July 26th - The Beginning of The End
(note- 110 days left. Start of the Desert videos)

July 27th - The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest

July 28th - Ultimate Horseshoes

July 29th - A Serious Conversation Under the Stars
(note- Last of the Desert videos)

July 30th - Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength

July 31st - 5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard

August 1st - Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet

August 2nd - Playing Cards: The World's Deadliest Weapon

August 3rd - We Lubed Our Floor For a Sliding Competition

August 4th - Breaking Glass With Our Screams

August 5th - This is Goodbye
(note- 100 Days Left)

August 6th - Mark and Ethan Share a Drink

August 7th - The Wubble

August 8th - Mark and Ethan Shave Chica

August 9th - DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

August 10th - Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas

August 11th - Hydro Dipping a Baby

August 12th - Popping Popcorn with a High-Powered Laser

August 13th - Puberty Simulator

August 14th - Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner's Butler for a Day
(note- Ethan "won" but Mark never became his Butler)

August 15th - Transforming Mark into the 8th Wonder of the World

August 16th - Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense

August 17th - Playing Children's Games in Total Darkness

August 18th - We're Better Than Dogs

August 19th - The Koala Challenge: TikTok's Intimate Couple's Trend

August 20th - 1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us

August 21st - Too Many Pickles
(note- The Video before the start of Camp Unus Annus)

August 22nd - Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There's a Bear 15 Feet Away
(note- Start of Camp Unus Annus. Mark was Blind while Ethan was Deaf)

August 23rd - How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree

August 24th - A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night

August 25th - How to Safely Bury Your Friend

August 26th - Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More!

August 27th - How to Start a Fire (except don't...)
(note- The infamous video where Unus appears at the window before Mark kills Ethan)

August 28th - Mark's Outdoor Escape Room

August 29th - Hunting HeeHoo

August 30th - Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus?
(note- End of Camp Unus Annus)

August 31st - Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage

September 1st - We Smell Every Smell

September 2nd - How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?

September 3rd - 2 Boys 2 Poops

September 4th - Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band

September 5th - We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine

September 6th - 2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test

September 7th - Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything but Normal Flavors

September 8th - We Attempts Pottery Without Amy's Help

September 9th - Can Plants Feel Pain?

September 10th - How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock?

September 11th - We Pierced Each Other's Ears

September 12th - We Ate Dog Treats So You Don't Have To

September 13th - We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away

September 14th - BEYBLADE NUTBALL
(note- The Finale of the Nutball Trilogy)

September 15th - Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger

September 16th - Making Soda With Literally Anything But Soda

September 17th - Pee Soda
(note- The Finale of the Pee Trilogy)

September 18th - Learning to Use The Force

September 19th - Brick Soccer

September 20th - We Attempt to Make Holy Water

September 21st - Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box

September 22nd - Mark Knows What Ethan Did...
(note- Ethan cheated on the Grip Test Video)

September 23rd - This Video Will Never Make Sense

September 24th - We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water

September 25h - We Will Churn Thy Butter

September 26th - Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics

September 27th - The Great Ice Cream Cake Race

September 28th - Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle

September 29th - Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible

September 30th - Consuming the World's Hottest Chip

October 1st - This Video Went Completely Out of Control

October 2nd - The 1000 High Five Challenge

October 3rd - Bobbing For Apples But the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer

October 4th - Mark Breaks His Nose On An Aerial Hoop
(note- Was the second time in one week)

October 5th - Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat

October 6th - Shooting Archery ON A HORSE

October 7th - DIY Minesweeper

October 8th - Literally Finding a needle in a Haystack

October 9th - Drawing on Each Other's Backs in Total Darkness

October 10th - This is For FUN and NOT a Fetish
(note- They were in black bags with a vacuum to such out the air)

October 11th - Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming
(note- Birth of the Gongoozler)

October 12th - The Painful Wolrd of Aerial Silks

October 13th - We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay

October 14th - Pumpkin Taste Tier List

October 15th - Learn to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds

October 16th - Bobbing for Literally Anything but Apples

October 17th - This Video is Completely Unedited
(note- This is the video where they shoved Wax up their nose and Marks got stuck)

October 18th - Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

October 19th - Pumpkin Spice "Challenge"
(note- Similar to the Cinnamon Challenge excpet with Pumpkin Spice and don't do this please)

October 20th - Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow

October 21st - Preassure Waching Our Sins Away

October 22nd - We Force Mark to Swin in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR)
(note- First of the Two Boat videos)

October 23rd - Fighting Fish to the Deathin in the Deep Blue Sea
(note- Second of the Two Boat Videos

October 24th - Cryptid Olympics

October 25th - Phasmophobia in Real Life
(note- Ghost hunt time)

October 26th - Edward Pumpkin Hands
(note- First Video in big spooky house)

October 27th - Blood Bath

October 28th - The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest
(note- Second Video in big spooky house)

October 29th - Ethan Turns Mark into a Werewolf

October 30th - Ethan Kidnapped Mark
(note- Third Video in big spooky house. Ethan made Mark an escape room)

October 31st - The Truth of Unus Annus
(note- Final Video in the big house. They open the Custom Coffin and change from their clothes into their suits. 13 Days Left)

November 1st - Accepting the Truth
(note- They Accept they are going to die. They remain in their suits from this point onward)

November 2nd - The Unus Annus Last Supper

November 3rd - Being Brutally Honest with Each Other
(note- Mark cries)

November 4th - Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video
(note- 45 minutes and 11 seconds. Longest video)

November 5th - All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened

November 6th - Who's Cutting Onions In Here???

November 7th - The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast

November 8th - God's Fitness Test

November 9th - Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests

November 10th - Everything's Legal If You're Dead
(note- Cooking with Sex Toys 2)

November 11th - 7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell
(note- Ethan got heaven, Mark got hell)

November 12th - The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover
(note- The final video.)

November 13th - Goodbye.
(note- The final livestream.)

Playing Card Manufacturer: Hanson Chien Production Company (HCPC)

Bad play begets bad play?

About the Rules of poker, who should be the big blind?

Gaming never changes

Rough Night at The Running Bear Casino (PAGE 2 of 2)

PAGE 2 of 2
**** * ****
Hussein nudged his brother Iqbal and aimed his chin toward the bar. “Look, a fat, stupid American has finally managed some success.”
Iqbal smirked, “It is the only way the infidels can succeed. They have no education and no skills to do anything useful. They don’t even worship their own God anymore, only money and fame. They will soon learn better…”
The brothers were out enjoying a night of revelry, with a few more planned when they reached the city. The celebrations were a last reward before they fulfilled their mission and achieved True Paradise through martyrdom. Hussein was superstitious and hoped to find success at gambling before they took the great risk that if successful, would help to sustain their cause. They’d grown up in this land of debauchery and foolishness but had been taught from the first to honor their own Beliefs and culture above anything the Americans professed.
Hussein was on roll number five of what he intended to be a short run. He wished to win five times for the Five Pillars of Islam, the name of his cell in the latest great Jihad. He blew on the dice and tossed. The small cubes bounced against the back side of the pit and tumbled end over end as he watched breathlessly. “Another ten!” the barker called. And pushed the winnings toward Hussein. He placed a minimum bet and rolled once more. He had already left the table before the barker called, “Snakeyes! Next roller please.”
He held up his chips triumphantly, “Iqbal, more money from roll number five! I kept the bet in place for five rolls, I left only the minimum for the last roll, it is a Sign! We are fated to succeed. We will meet the others tomorrow, go over the plan, and then have a few last nights to revel in this world…”
Iqbal patted his brother on the shoulder, “There is something I would like more than winning chips. He nodded toward the bar and the attractive and sinuous young local who worked behind it, steadily polishing glasses.
Hussein watched for a moment, unsure whether his brother meant the alcoholic drinks that had been forbidden until now or the woman. Knowing Iqbal, he assumed both. “As you wish brother. Take your mortal enjoyments while you can. She looks a little sullen though, frown, lowered brows, I like the happy ones.”
Iqbal’s serpent-like smile widened, “She will look better when I have freed her from the miseries of the uncircumcised. She will enjoy a real man. Who knows? Maybe I will convert her so that we can meet again in Paradise.” With that, he surged away from his brother and slithered up to the bar opposite the young First Nations maid. “Good evening, I noticed that you do not have many customers at the bar. It seems odd that so beautiful a creature as yourself would not attract more company.”
The woman ignored him, intently focused on her task. He tried again, “Perhaps I must order a drink to remain at the bar? If so, a gin and tonic if you please.”
She continued to polish the glass. He leaned forward, “Did you hear me?” he inquired in an annoyed tone. “Perhaps you have no business because you are surly and unhelpful.”
She looked at him and delivered a smirk that appeared to be far more evil than anything he could ever hope to muster, despite his thin, reptilian lips and predatory mind, “We don’t want customers to linger at the bar, getting drunk and building from misery to anger over their losses. We want them playing… and losing.” She leaned toward him and glared into his own eyes that he normally considered flinty and daunting. “You know about losing, don’t you?”
Hussein noted that the large man at the end of the bar in the “Security” shirt had begun stumping toward them. “Iqbal, perhaps it is time to go look for other entertainment.”
Iqbal ignored him, he was trapped in the serpent’s gaze, like a mouse dropped into a snake’s tank to be devoured while its owner watched with perverse interest. Hussein reached for his brother to tug at his arm but never got the chance. The big security officer seized his hand, drew it to his too wide chest and turned. The weight of the man drew him away from his brother and caused him to spin around so that he ended up facing the goon with his brother beyond the man and in the clutches of the Serpent Woman. The ham-fisted gargantuan continued to twist the hand he gripped until the pressure caused Hussein sever pain. He grunted and bent into the angle of his wrist to relieve the distress. He found himself bent forward and looking up desperately toward the man’s face.
The security staffer smiled, his square, blunt teeth showing dark behind an almost lipless mouth. His wide back and chest, covered in body armor under his shirt made him appear like a monster-sized… Turtle. Hussein felt himself lifted and placed behind the bar. His brother soon slithered over the top and fell to the floor beside him, smiling beatifically. Hussein opened his mouth to scream for help, but a large, blunt fist crashed into the side of his head and he saw stars… seven of them, like the Holy... The fist descended once more, and he saw only darkness.
**** * ****
Fr. Danilo Bayani was immensely enjoying his latest trip to the continental USA. He had visited Hawaii many years ago, and New York City more recently, but this was his first tour of the grand landbound spaces that this country offered. He’d managed to roam so far from his origins in Manila. Now, in his twilight years, he longed to see what he could of God’s Green Earth. All on the payroll of The Vatican while they cleanse the records of those hateful… allegations. The bitter thoughts raced across his mind. Of course he was a sinner, he was only mortal. He’d been expiated of those sins and had paid an enormous price to continue serving in his capacity as a parish priest. He forced his mind to return to the moment and more enjoyable pursuits.
He noted the hirsute and similar appearing pair of men who had gone to the bar and wondered why the Security officer approached them, but his attention was called once more to the round of Texas Hold’em and his table mates. When he again had a moment to look, no one was at the bar, in front or behind… curious, he thought, but he quickly refocused his attention on the fascinating new game he was in the process of learning. He was familiar with Poker, so it wasn’t difficult to learn. He liked the high level of interaction that this version of the old game allowed. He’d done well, certainly gained enough to fund extracurricular activities during the rest of his current sabbatical.
He’d been disturbed by the overall atmosphere of this place when he’d arrived. He did not care for the numerous paintings and sculptures of Ancient Native Deities and Spirits. They seemed to be mostly images of the Dark Beings of various Tribal cultures. He loved to study diverse cultures, but this place was an amalgamation of cultures, built for mutual support by several Tribes in the region. Much of the artwork was schlocky and clearly intended to cater to the garish and sordid tastes of the vapid gambling set. Some part of him did not feel… welcome, as though he had intruded on some private Place, set aside for Other Gods.
He shook off the depressing musings… There are NO Other Gods, he reassured himself. He soon stepped away from the table to take care of personal needs and to decide what he should do with the rest of his night. Perhaps he would visit the White Dove Restaurant & Ballroom on the other side of the hotel lobby from the casino. It boasted a good reputation according to online reviews, even though it was a simple buffet style with a dance floor to one side. He liked the name, it was… peaceful he decided.
He soon had a selection of food piled onto a plate and was seated near the dance floor. The place was sparsely occupied, so his hopes of being able to watch dancers as he ate were dashed. Still, the food was good enough. A little bland, but that was necessary in a place that acted as a crossroads of cultures. There was a spice table at the end of the primary row of entrees. He’d helped himself, yet nothing seemed to attach to his taste buds. The combination of eating nearly alone, having no one with energy around him, and the tasteless food soon had him growing restless. He finished up his repast and left the table to go out to the final section of the complex he had not visited, the River Overlook.
As he passed the table nearest the entrance, he saw a stout man in a rumpled sport coat, who glared daggers at him, eyes focused on his crucifix, the only outward sign of his profession. The man appeared to be so hostile, that he paused for a moment to determine whether he’d done anything to offend the fellow. “Excuse me sir, have I offended you in some way?”
The man looked startled. He was apparently unused to being confronted about his demeanor or behavior. He scowled, “Don’t like that thing you have around your neck. You Catholics are all Hell-bound. No concept of righteousness. Not that you’d understand, you people don’t even read The Book. You listen to your priests and pope and disregard The Word. All the kneeling and ritual prayers in the world won’t save you in the end. Go back to your idols and beads and leave me alone to seek Heaven.”
Fr. Bayani was startled by the vehemence with which the man spoke. He hadn’t been attacked directly for his Faith in years. “Sir, I’m not sure what Religion you practice, but I am a man of God, a consecrated priest of the Holy Church. I assure you that I understand more than most, if not as much as I would like. I meant no harm and wish you a peaceful night.”
With that, he started to walk past the man, but the man rose from his table and pointed his finger, “Your pope is the Anti-Christ, and your Church is a place of Satan! Look to the Bible for your salvation before it’s too late.”
Fr. Bayani increased his pace and continued on his journey to the River Overlook. He would need the peace and tranquility that nature and the sound of flowing water would provide to settle his roiling mind.
**** * ****
Pastor Bill resumed his seat and shook his head, “Fool, doesn’t know that he’s risking his soul, courting Damnation.” He’d had a bad run at the tables over at the casino. His Denomination frowned on games of chance, but he had needed the money. One of his congregation had come up pregnant and they had to get it resolved before the three-month deadline for abortions. He knew that if his wife found out about Carmen, then she would divorce him. He was here to break every major rule that he professed to hold dear each week. His plan for quick money had failed, so he’d visited the bar. Now he hoped that eating would guide him back to sobriety. He had to think of another plan.
Seeing that… priest had annoyed him. Had he not been inebriated, he would never have said what he did, nor stared so rudely in the first place. Yet he wanted someone on whom to vent the anger he felt, that arose from fear and he’d always disliked the papists. If his wife divorced him, if the scandal involving the woman who cleaned the church all week and then occupied the back pew every Sunday ever broke; he would lose his ministry, his livelihood. His degree in Theology would be worthless. He might be able to get a job teaching, at some secular school, but most would not hire fervent Christians like himself.
He stared dejectedly at his plate of food that had contained more spice and flavors than he liked, a shadow passed in his periphery. It was low-slung and blurred just a bit as it loped along the wall. He thought he heard an odd laugh, somewhere between human and… canine? Maybe a little like a hyena might sound, or so he imagined. There was a manic quality to the laughter. A jest that was on him so that only the other Entity knew what it was. It was the wicked laughter of children at play, who’d decided to target a fat kid with glasses. A kid whose parents had been abusive addicts but who later “got right” through religious-based recovery programs. Their faith had led him to his own, but he’d never really lost those early traumas of being unaccepted by his peers and being beaten by people who later professed faith above all.
A mocking whine, definitely doggish, his now sobering consciousness informed him. Something was making fun of him, teasing him from the shadows. He looked around for staff members or other customers but found himself alone. The dining area and the dance floor were deserted. It was odd, there was almost always someone at the buffet service tables. He looked over to the kitchen doors in hopes that one of the employees would burst through with a fresh serving of chicken wings or whatever tray had been emptied. He saw dark figures move past the clouded round windows on the swinging doors and temporarily occlude the bright kitchen lights within, but they were indistinct blobs, and appeared to be focused on tasks of their own choosing rather than service of his needs.
He stood and realized that he was more intoxicated than he’d realized. He immediately resumed his seat and bent forward to regain his balance and bearings… and to swallow his rising gorge. When he sat up again, a dark, shaggy form perched in the chair across from him. The figure was no more than a silhouette, a raggedly hewn shadow. Yet there were eyes. Sinister golden gleams appeared and blinked at him. He heard a heavy, panting sort of breathing and a gust of foul-smelling carnivore breath assaulted his olfactory senses. “Who? Er, what are you doing at my table?” he asked in a mushy, confused manner. Still fighting off waves of nausea.
He could not see it very well in the poorly illuminated dining room, but his impression was that the... Being… smiled at him: a gaping, lolling smile, with a tongue dangling out to one side and sharp canines gleaming. “I thought I would check on you my righteous friend. You seem to be upset, unhappy. You nipped and barked at that other person who shares your Faith. I thought perhaps there was a deeper concern preying on your conscience?”
Pastor Bill had to force himself to think through what this… person? Had said to him. Likely some hippie-dippy weirdo. “That guy was a Catholic priest, we’re nowhere near the same Religion.”
Once more he heard the chortling laughter that was now very clear, “I’m sure you think it’s different. Those of his specific religion, came to these lands many years ago. They were the first of you Christians to arrive. The rest have been simple variations on a theme. The problems began, when your co-religionists assumed that only your God exists; that all of the local Gods and Spirits were instead Demons and Dark Powers. Instead of trying to show that yours is a better Way, you Christians insisted that yours is the only Way. You’ve forgotten that in Ancient Times, people held True to Deities who were attached to local communities or to the land and features around them; geographically and ethnically relevant. You have gone from subsuming and incorporating Older Gods as Angels and Saints, to Demonizing Them, and now in your hubris, to denying Them altogether.” He shook His head. “Too bad really, it creates an Adversarial relationship.” He chuckled at some joke that Pastor Bill was still too drunk to comprehend.
Pastor Bill had grown increasingly fearful as the Voice intoned Its Philosophies. He wanted to refute that Voice, to deny Its very Existence. Yet he feared Its Wrath more than anything he’d ever feared, even the Fires of Hell. Instead of making a stand and arguing his faith, he staggered to his feet and ran, stumbled, blindly toward the kitchen and the pale, ghostly figures within. Surely someone within would save him! The sardonic laughter chortled after him and chased him into the too bright lights, descending into the yips and howls of Coyote even as the doors swung shut behind him. He looked around at the glowing white figures who halted in their various progresses to stare at him. Their eyes! There were none, just empty sockets, faces slack, with gaping, lamprey maws. He heard a new sound as they swarmed him… his own forlorn screams of ultimate agony.
**** * ****
Fr. Bayani stood out on the River Overlook platform and enjoyed the solitude that had so recently left him restless. There were plenty of noises out across the flowing torrent: the water itself, as it passed over hidden objects, fish as they leapt from its embrace to kiss the night air, frogs and insects, and the warbling, mournful sounds of a loon, and the soft sigh of the wind as it passed through the verdant landscape. This is much more peaceful than the White Dove he thought. He had some trouble shaking off ruminations on the verbal assault from the strange, possibly drunken man in the restaurant. He decided that he would pray for the man, that he would one day soon find The True Faith. Sometimes that was all one could do for the short-sighted.
He heard a deep, coughing hiss out in the dark. He was startled but quickly realized that it was an American Alligator, cousin to creatures he had observed in many places around the planet. He was truly content, at one with Nature in all Her Glory… in all the natural splendor of Creation! he immediately corrected himself. A sound impinged on his senses as it slowly rose and obscured the others… it was a lapping sound at first, more like ocean waves on a beach than the banks of a river. Waves, at cross purposes to the flow of the river, slapped at the base of the platform. Soon they sounds evolved into splashes, as if something very large approached the River Overlook platform. He leaned over the rail to have a closer look. Perhaps it was a large water creature or a boat… maybe a ‘gator as the locals called the big reptiles.
He peered down at the dim rippling surface below. At first, he was unable to discern anything but small reflections on the water as it swirled and lapped; then from below the surface, he spotted an eye, a too large eye! It glowed from within with a sickly luminescence akin to that produced by deep growing fungi. As he stared in horror, he saw a mouth gape below the eye, and enormous frog-like opening with no teeth but serrated lips, like some monstrous catfish. As he stared, too much in shock to act, he suddenly felt his body wrapped in strong, leprous flesh and he quickly lost his ability to breathe. The last sight he saw before he plunged over the safety rail was the thin, grey, first light of dawn.
**** * ****
Chief Harry Whitehorse gazed around at his fellow chiefs and Shamans from various local Tribes, “So, are The Dark Ones satisfied once again? Have They sated their appetites on strangers so that our peoples will be safe for another year?”
Affirmative rumbles muttered around the conference room. Red Wolf, a Shaman, spoke from near the back row, “They are not only satisfied but Coyote assures us that the prey people will not be linked with our premises or business operations.”
Most of the fresh mutters sounded pleased, but old Harry had to ask, “Can we trust Him?”
Chortling laughter sounded throughout the conference room and ascended into thunderous yips and howls of hysterical glee.

Every single Unus Annus Video

Unus Annus, Cooking with Sex Toys, Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot, Hot Dog'd to Death, Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank, The Good Kind of Cupping, The Bad Kind of Cupping, The Worst Kind of Cupping, Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls, Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark, Baby Hands Operation, Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost, 2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition, Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise...), Play-Doh Thanksgiving, Helium Therapy, Drawing Memes from Memory, 1 Man 100 Accents, An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die, Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond, The Chubby Gummy Challenge, We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It, Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room, Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat, There's Still Hope..., Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral, The Great Meat Mistake, Acupuncture Is NOT Painful, Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank, Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There's a Looming Sense of Impending Doom, We Made Nude Paintings of Eachother, You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win, We Had To Drink Each Other's Pee, Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement, Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button, Ethan's Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon, Taped and Afraid, What Was The Most Painful Thing We've Ever Endured?, Donating Toys to Charity w/ JackSepticEye, Harnessing Our Dogs' Unlimited Energy, Santa's Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog), Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will, Preserving Ourselves In Wax, Beating Inanimate Objects to Death, Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain... Which is Worse?, Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don't Watch This Video), You Blink You Lose, 2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test, We Took The Polar Plunge, Hiding Our Sins from Amy's Holy Peepers, We Eat Bugs, DIY Bungee Jump (please don't try this), We Have The BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise, Who Can Make Themselves Taller?, The Sensory Overload Tank, Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin, We Took an IQ Test, Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN, Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping, We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins, Learning to Breathe Underwater, Fixing Mark's Hole with Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God, Mark Steals Ethan's Face, You Breathe You Die, 2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa, DIY Geriatric Simulator, This Is How We'll Die..., We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves, This is What Being Tased Feels Like, What Happens When A Youtube Channel Dies?, Bad Bad Beans, We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams, We Turned Our Bodies Into Art, Mark and Ethan Learn About The Human Body, Mark Punishes Ethan, Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death, DIY Cheese, Hacking The Very Fabric of the Universe, Looking at Long Lost Memes, Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life, Turning Mark Into an E-Boy, Ethan Redefines Male Beauty, Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond), An Extremely Sour, Not-at-all Sour Meal, Literally Eating Fire, Unregulated Axe Throwing, Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass, Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature, Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game, Becoming a Master of Mime, Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other but It's Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha, Are We Already Dead?, Our Perfect (and last) Valentine's Day, Drunk College Party Simulator, 10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn't Know How to Spend Money Responsibly, Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death, 3 Big Boys Attempt the King's Royal Fitness Test, Being Attacked by a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog, Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery, The Ultimate Trolley Problem, Goat Yoga, Edible Slime was a Mistake., Granting Access Into Heaven's Sweet Gates, Long Hair, Do We Dare?, We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes, Mark and Ethan Go on a "Drum Date", Blowing Our Souls Into Some Hot Glass, Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On, Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition, REAL Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned Zoo, We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us, Becoming the World's Greatest DJs, Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest?, Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death, DIY Chiropractor, Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight, The Barrel, We Got Pepper Sprayed, We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded, What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship?, Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat), Mark Needs To Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him, 2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes, Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna into a Portable Hell, Mark and Ethan Hunt The World's Most Wanted Criminals, Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast, 5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death, We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator, Recreating the Miracle of Childbirth, Mark and Ethan Are Now Fathers, We Force James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course, Desperately Trying To Not Touch Our Faces, Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition, Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt, Having an Adventure In VR Chat Because We Can't Go Outside, Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse, Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse?, Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown, The Deep End of Omegle: Risky Boogaloo, Where in the World is Unus Annus?, Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time, Mark's 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless, Wikifeet: A Tale of 2 Tootsies, We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games, We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins, We Played Mad Libs And Ran It Through Google Translate, Mark and Ethan Desperately Try and Name a Single State in the USA, Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge, What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube?, We Found Websites That The World Forgot About, The Scariest True Stories on the Internet, How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend, Mark and Ethan Find The Lost City of El Dorado, Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race, The Creepiest Videos on Youtube, Help Us Break a YouTube World Record, 2 Men 200 Accents, The Illuminati... Do They Really Exist?, Finding The Lost City of Atlantis, Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories, Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test, Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It?, Running Internet Drama through Google Translate, The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake, Two Male Men Judge Female Women on Their Beauty, Bored? Press This Button., Don't Go in the Ocean... Ever., We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of our Wildy Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mysteries, We Looked at Unus Annus Memes, Is Mark a Masochist?, What the Hell is a Pink Trombone?, Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020, Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something, An A.I. Generates Our Worst Nightmare, Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among us?, Like It or Not... This is What The New Human Looks Like, Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does it Take to Kill a Man?, Unus Annus ASMR, We Attempted to Create THICC Water, Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare For Our Inevitable Demise, How Tall Can A Human Get?: An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men, Mark Teaches Ethan Korean, Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend, The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here..., We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes, How Big Can a Nuke Get?, How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?, Drinking Real THICC Water... 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Nisio Isin Chronicle : Interview Between Hirohiko Araki and Nisio Isin

Source : JoJo Wiki)

Nisio Isin Chronicle (01/2006)

Nisio Isin: Author of Monogatari Series, Katanagatari, etc.
Hirohiko Araki: Author of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures.
Interviewer: MYST
Points in common between Araki’s and Nisio’s works
Interviewer: So apparently, Araki-sensei made his debut in the same year that Nisio-san was born.
Nisio: I was born in 1981.
Araki: I made my debut in the 1981 New Year’s issue [of Weekly Shounen Jump].
Nisio: It feels like fate…if you can call it that, haha.
Araki: That’s amazing. At 24, you’ve already written so much in 4 or 5 years.
Nisio: I’m not sure how long I can keep writing, but for now I’ll keep writing as much as I can. I’m on my 15th book now.
Interviewer: Araki-sensei, did everything go smoothly after you debuted?
Araki: Not at all, it feels like I only started polishing my skills after I debuted. They let me debut before I had any style or originality as a manga artist. I had to learn a lot then, and it wasn’t until Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures that I really got started.
Nisio: I also loved your manga before Jojo, like Mahou Shounen Biitii, Gorgeous Irene, and Baoo Raihousha. Your manga all feel like my roots, there’s so much I’ve learned from them.
Araki: Oh yes, your novels do seem to have some points in common. I’ve started reading from Kubikiri Cycle [first book of Zaregoto Series] and haven’t read your latest books, but your characters all seem modern. It might also because a lot of them are geniuses, but they all think they’re superior and don’t respect others. It was interesting how the main character tries to confront those geniuses despite feeling inferior.
Their dialogue sounds like advertising slogans. I like that. Like those lines at the beginning of each chapter. The main character keeps banging out lines like that. That was very fresh and interesting.
Nisio: Thank you. My hands are trembling. I’m so happy that you’ve read my books.
I think Jojo is a wonderful manga, and I wish I could have all of humanity read it. It’s so good that it makes me want to recommend it to other people…somehow it feels like I have to go out of my way to say how much I like it.
Making characters seem powerful using powerful lines
Nisio: Earlier you said that I write lines like advertising slogans, but I think that’s partly because of your influence. It’s more than a verbal tic, it’s a single line that encapsulates a character. A line that only that character could say…
Araki: I try to include a character’s personal philosophy in what they say. Their unique way of thinking.
Nisio: That might why you’re different. Even in another story, no one else could say those lines. Even if somebody else used your lines, they wouldn’t become famous quotes. “Road roller!” only leaves an impact because it’s Dio who says it.
Araki: You have some great ones, too. “There’s always someone better, but at the top they’re all below you.” and a lot of others. Those are really good. They make you think. I think everyone likes those. They make you stop and think ‘that’s true’.
Interviewer: They’re cool and hook you in, and they’re convincing.
Araki: Lines like that make characters seem more powerful. It makes you wonder what would happen if that character was the culprit. It’s hard to stop reading.
Nisio: Jojo had a big influence on that. The enemy characters in Jojo all have depth.
Araki: Yes, I was going for that.
Nisio: There are no throwaway characters. Especially after Stands come into the story, there are Stands that seems weak but can be strong depending on how they’re used. Like (Stand: Bad Company. Only 10 cm tall, but 500 in number!) might just be the strongest.
Araki: That’s right, haha. Well for manga in the eighties, the enemies always keep getting stronger and stronger. But there has to be a limit somewhere, and it gets tremendously exhausting.
Nisio: Like when they go ‘the one you just defeated was the weakest of us.’
Araki: To break through that, I tried to have characters that are strong from an alternate point of view, or who are only strong in a single aspect.
Nisio: So like ‘There’s no such thing as strong or weak.’
Araki: It’s so exhausting to write manga where the enemies keep getting stronger and stronger. It’s like, “they’re already this strong, and they’re still getting stronger!?” and every week you worry about what you’re going to do. And then you get to the height of the bubble and it’s like, what now? It’s a very scary writing method. It’s fine if you do it once. When the strongest enemy gets introduced, you’ll get so popular that the publisher tells you not to stop. But as a writer, you can’t go any further.
Nisio: I wonder who started this inflation of power. It must have been a really crazy idea at first… Whoever it was, using this technique is like reaching a dead end or slash-and-burn farming. I think Jojo was a revolution in that area.
Araki: It was more like an escape route than a revolution, haha. But I think that’s how people work.
It’s like how someone with a strong punch isn’t necessarily strong.
Nisio: Someone you could beat depending on your strategy, I guess.
Interviewer: If you’re fighting Bush and he has nuclear missiles, you still might beat him with a bat. For example, Hara Tetsuo wrote Fist of the North Star so that whoever says the most powerful lines wins.
Nisio: That makes sense.
Araki: That seems like something you’d be familiar with.
Nisio: Novels are only words, after all. The main thing is dialogue. So characters that say powerful lines do become stronger.
Araki: I’ve also noticed something unique about your characters. They’re mentally strong somehow. They’re complete geniuses, but also lacking things or searching for things. That’s something refreshing, and it makes the story’s world interesting.
Nisio: Thank you. I have no words. Speaking of characters, I like Part 4 of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures because it has so many unique characters. I like Tonio the most, but it’s such an all-star cast.
Araki: Thank you. I hear that the writer Otsuichi-san [mystery/horror writer] also likes Part 4 the most. I wonder if it’s a generational thing.
The appeal of Jojo and its impact on Nisio Isin as a grade schooler
Nisio: When I read your manga for the first time, it was when Ebony Devil, that doll from Part 3, slices off a hotel worker’s face with a razor. I remember it being really scary.
Araki: That must have been tough to read as a kid.
Nisio: Of course, I didn’t understand what Stands were, and that made it even scarier. I was creeped out by this weird armored warrior but thought Joutarou was really cool. I didn’t understand the logic or style of it so it was completely mysterious, but I could tell that it was in a different vein from the other manga being published at the time.
Even now, Jojo hasn’t fallen behind to imitators. Nowadays Shounen Jump has more manga with Stand-like abilities, but Jojo still sets itself apart. It’s not that it’s the original, but there’s something clearly different about it.
Why Nisio Isin became a writer
Araki: What made you decide to be a writer? How did you get started writing?
Nisio: To be honest, I originally wanted to be a manga artist. But I quickly realized that I couldn’t draw. No matter how I practiced, I wouldn’t get better. Then thought that since writing get printed, it doesn’t matter if my handwriting is bad or anything. So in a way, I’m writing the novelization of a manga that’s in my head.
Araki: So you might get your novels adapted into manga?
Nisio: That’s true. There are many scenes in my head that I have an image of. Like someone standing in front of the sound effect “ゴゴゴゴゴ.” I think Kadono Kouhei-sensei said something similar. [author, mainly known for Boogiepop series]
Araki: So you start with an image and replace it with words. The desire to write feels like something that comes welling out, but I wonder how that works.
Nisio: When you read something good, it makes you want to try it. Of course, reading your manga gives me motivation. It’s something like that.
Araki: Like ‘I could make something a little better’.
Nisio: When you see something wonderful, you can’t help but want to try doing it.
Araki: That’s true. Drawing is like that for me, like when I see a drawing that makes me wonder how it was drawn. It’s like a riddle I want to solve.
For example, there are manga artists who can draw lines in unbelievable directions. Normally you go from up to down or right to left, but they’re clearly doing it differently. Like Hara Tetsuo. I don’t know how he draws those lines, if he does them upside down or what.
For painting too, I wonder how someone made a color and things like that. It fires me up somehow.
Interviewer: Did you solve Hara’s riddle?
Araki:Not quite. I tried to draw beautiful smooth lines like him, but it wasn’t the same.
Nisio: I’ve thought something similar when reading your manga. When I read Janken Kozou for example, I was surprised at how you could portray Rock Paper Scissors. I thought that I couldn’t casually play Rock Paper Scissors anymore. To me, you’re not just a manga artist, you’re an artist.
Araki: I can’t really see that, haha. I’ve always felt lacking as a person somehow, and I want to become a full person. I’m not sure exactly what a full person is, but I’ve always wanted to become one since I was young.
Interviewer: Nisio-san, when you finished your Zaregoto Series after 9 volumes, you’ve said that “after finishing this piece of work, I’m not a rookie anymore.” Araki-sensei, with which manga did you feel like you’ve finished a job?
Araki: I don’t think there is one. My publisher keeps telling me I should write something new besides Jojo, but it feels weird to start something new before finishing Jojo. So I might keep writing it.
Nisio: For your entire life?
Araki: I don’t know.
Nisio: As long as there are Jojo stories, at least.
Araki: That’s true. But I’m writing about human relationships, so it never ends. Until humanity dies out.
Interviewer: How about when you stopped feeling like a rookie?
Araki: That would have to be when new manga artists come out. Before I knew it, the only one who’s been in Jump longer was Akimoto Osamu [author of Kochikame, the longest-running series in Weekly Shonen Jump, running 1976-2016], and I thought, “Huh, there’s only Akimoto-sensei?”, so I definitely couldn’t think of myself as a rookie anymore.
Interviewer: That’s quite some time since you debuted. [8 years?]
Araki: Yeah. I was trying to write with a youthful feeling. But then at like parties, when I looked around everyone was younger than me, and I went “Wha-?”. They would say “we can’t get started until you drink”, and I thought “Oh, this is bad”. Nisio-san, a time like that will come for you, too. It’s a lonely feeling. It really is nice to have some elders around.
Defeating enemies without inflating power levels
Nisio: Before, I said that Part 4 was my favorite, but sometimes it’s Part 1 or Part 2…
Interviewer: You like all of them, haha.
Nisio: I like how the enemies were defeated in Part 1 and Part 2, before Stands were introduced. They were mental, tactical battles, and it might just be because I like mystery books, but I love those kind of strategical tricks. Even after Stands came into the story, the mental battles were the most captivating.
Araki: Ah, yes. In shounen manga, there’s this pattern of beating enemies using willpower. I couldn’t accept it. I thought, “Are you really going to use willpower here?”. There is that amazing strength people that have during fires. That makes sense, but I still couldn’t accept it. Like, “If you’re going to do it with willpower, show it in your attitude.” I wanted some kind of logic behind it.
A long time ago, Shirato Sanpei-sensei used to write ninja manga (such as Sasuke, Ninja Bugeichou, and Kamui Gaiden), and they don’t defeat enemies with ninjutsu or magic in those. They used these kind of tricks, things with logic behind them. Like digging a hole in the ground and setting off gunpowder. It made me go “wow”. That influenced me.
Nisio: Like this thing you have to explain.
Araki: It won’t seem interesting unless there’s some kind of reason.
Nisio: In Part 2, did you just come up with the idea for the battle with Wamuu to be on chariots?
Araki: No, I think I was inspired. In shounen manga, I like when the battles are one-on-one in some kind of arena. This arena could be a narrow clifftop, or one where you lose if you leave the arena, and it’s fun to make a lot of rules. I think that’s where the idea for that chariot battle came from. Having some restrictions, so it’s not everything goes.
Nisio: In Jojo, the fights are one-on-one, or at most two-on-two, aren’t they?
Araki: That’s true. If there’s too many people, it’ll become like one of those old war manga. That seems tiring to just to write, so two-on-two is the most for me.
Backgrounds in manga vs. having to describe in novels
Interviewer: As a writer, is there anything you’re jealous about Araki-sensei for?
Nisio: I’m very jealous that unlike novels, you can draw backgrounds in manga. It’s hard to portray backgrounds in novels.
Araki: But even if you don’t write anything, the reader can imagine something.
Nisio: Drawings have incredible persuasive power. There are things that you can draw, but when you write about it, it turns into an explanation.
And then, you go “oh, I wrote an explanation” and feel intense regret… It won’t be a slogan anymore. I have this obsession that once I write an explanation, it’s all over, and it’s hard to deal with. So when I have insert illustrations in my books, it makes me feel that I can’t match the strengths of visual information.
Araki: I once read a story about a beautiful picture. There wasn’t any description about the picture. But the readers can imagine something. If you wrote a manga with that story, you would have to draw the picture. Even if it was Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, it would just be a copy. It’s something that gets ruined if you draw it. But if you don’t describe the picture like that story did, if you just say it’s amazing, then the reader will believe it.
Nisio: Purposefully not writing something.
Araki: I think it’s better if you don’t write about it.
Nisio: I’ve used a technique of writing something that’s impossible to visualize a few times. I think that’s the only way to explain something that isn’t there… You can write about things that you can’t even draw.
Oh yeah, I’ve used that technique in Shin Honkaku Mahou Shoujo Risuka, which is illustrated by Nishimura Kinu-sensei. I wrote about a ‘jacket like a safety pin.’ It was supposed to be clothing from a fantasy world, and then Nishimura-sensei ended up drawing it. I thought ‘oh, it got drawn.’
Araki: That’s impressive. I’ve also drawn a few insert illustrations. There was a character who has an arm injury throughout the book. So I drew an injured arm, but then at the end it said that the injury was on the left arm, and I had drawn it on the right arm. I thought, “do I have to redo the whole thing?”
You really have to read carefully. Insert illustrations are hard to draw, too. That’s why it’s impressive. Figuring out what a jacket that’s looks like a safety pin is like…
Nisio: When I know that there will be insert illustrations, I try to make it easier for my illustrators to draw them.
Araki: The illustrations for Zaregoto Series have an atmosphere to them too.
Nisio: Take-san is the one drawing them. I remember at first, when I was talking to my editor, I asked for them to be ‘Jojo-ish’, haha. That was supposed to be about the level of realism or reality in the illustrations…and then they came out like this.
Araki: It’s nice to see that the Jojo-ish part came through. When you line up the 9 volumes like this, you can really see an improvement in skill. I like these pop-style backgrounds, too.
Which writer is the biggest Jojo fan?
Araki: Nisio-san, which authors do you like?
Nisio: I’d have to say Kadano Kouhei-sensei. He’s famous for being a Jojo fan. He’s the biggest Jojo fan among writers.
Nisio’s editor: Just a while ago, when I told him that you were going to see Araki-sensei, he went silent for a few seconds and coldly said, “Oh, is that it so”, haha.
Nisio: A long time ago, when I read an interview between you and Otsuichi-sensei in Yomu Jump [magazine associated with Weekly Shounen Jump], I was so jealous that he got to meet you.
Araki: Otsuichi-san was writing for Shueisha [company publishing Jump], after all.
Interviewer: Nisio-san, if you were going to write a novelization of Jojo, what would it be like?
Nisio: I would write about Part 2, or maybe Part 1. Where the enemies are vampires and perfect lifeforms.
Araki: Not violence.
Nisio: I would choose not to use Stands. That way there wouldn’t be anything in common with Otsuichi-sensei is doing. [Otsuichi’s Jojo novelization is set in Part 4]
Araki: You don’t want to do the same thing as him?
Nisio: I really don’t to do the same thing as anyone else. If I did, it would turn into a contest with Otsuichi-sensei. What if I lose? If winning makes you the bigger Jojo fan that’d be terrible.
Interviewer: You can’t stand losing, not as an author, but as a fan?
Nisio: They might say “you call yourself a Jojo fan, but that’s all you can write?” or “you don’t love Jojo enough”, and make fun of me, haha. So if that happens I’ll say “Oh, my favorite part is Part 1” to get away.
Interviewer: For Part 1 and 2, there’s the issue of viewpoint. Whose perspective would you write from?
Nisio: Part 4 is Kouichi-kun. For Part 1, it’s Speedwagon. Part 2 was…did he have a name? That pickpocket boy at the beginning…ah, I can’t remember. This is bad.
Araki: He was there, haha.
Nisio: Otsuichi-sensei and Kadano-sensei are laughing right now, haha.
Interviewer: When did you understand how Stands worked?
Nisio: I somehow figured it out as I was reading. Like how when Stands get injured, their users also get injured. There was an explanation of what Stands were at the beginning of one of the volumes, and it all made sense after that. That was really helpful.
Araki: It’s a good thing I wrote that, haha. Most people said they didn’t understand Stands.
Nisio: I liked the battles with the D’arby brothers. That’s how I learned how to play poker. I was in elementary school and didn’t know the rules of poker, so I didn’t know what kind of battle that was, haha. So I went to a bookstore and browsed through a poker rulebook.
Araki: Oh really? When I was writing that I assumed everybody knew how to play poker. It seemed like everybody at least knows poker.
Nisio:I was in elementary school, after all. After that I really wanted to play poker, haha. I wanted to say things like, “I bet all six chips.”
Interviewer: You’ve learned a lot from Jojo.
Nisio: That’s absolutely true. I want to keep learning more and more.
Araki: Thank you. I can tell how strong your feelings are

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[Specific] Dad got to sit at the final table of he World Series of Poker. Sat, not competed. Could you add poker chips and a WSOP bracket to the image. This will be his last time. Posting two pictures. Image 1 of 2

Pretty sure this is a poker chip but what is the image on it? If not a poker chip is it from a game?

DunderMifflin | Image | "I Just had a Revelation. Kevin is so Good at Poker because All the Math Involves "Chips.""

Internet poker sites card, chip, etc. image icons?

AITA for causing drama?

Custom Poker Chips?

For beginners: So you've learned the basic rules of poker... Now what?

Turning Random League of Legends Champions into a DnD Build (Attempting) Until I've Done all 152 (and Counting) Day 8: Twisted Fate